Star Wars: The Last Jedi Movie, Please! (Spoilers)
Hell is living in a timeline with an endless procession of Star Wars movies full of sound and fury yet ultimately signifying nothing but SJW/Antifa fever dreams. The Cultural Marxism is strong in this one. I saw it so you don't have to burn your money, mind and time.
What on Earth are these critics talking about. It has a Rotten Tomatoes score in 90s, which means if you didn't like it, there's clearly something wrong with YOU, dummy! It's score should be a 9...percent. I didn't even want to write a review here, but we must return fire on the enemy's cultural territory. Heavy fire.
What follows below is a stew of muh mannish feminism, diversity, Cultural Marxism and misandry.
Hard to believe Rian Johnson, the man who made the excellent sci-fi thriller Looper, fumbled this so badly. Was he pressured to insert SJW brainwashing into this pile of space debris as his price of admission to the A-List? Hollywood is proven to be one of those towns where if you don't toe the line, they ostracize you.
Mark Hamill, a socialist Bernie bro himself, wasn’t even happy with where Johnson took Luke Skywalker's arc.
During the traditional fanfare and preamble, writer-director Rian Johnson puts RESISTANCE in ALL CAPS. Very subtle, my dude. Right from the get-go, it's naked subtextual REEEEEEEE'ing about 2016.
Then, we are treated to a ridiculous prank call placed by Poe (Oscar Isaac) to General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson). Johnson, and his genius producers giving him encouraging notes, managed to turn a strong villain into a clownish incompetent fool. This deflates the stakes throughout the rest of the movie, as you are now primed to expect more failures and comic relief from Hux.
The whites in this movie are either old extras who get blasted to hell on the RESISTANCE side or young/old whites in the First Order who are angry, juvenile, incompetent and just downright evil. The First Order also had a mix of asian extras too.
Speaking of asians, a chubby, vertically-challenged Rose of the RESISTANCE went from doing menial maintenance labor to leading a plan to flying jets to ruining Finn's sure-to-be successful kamikaze flight into a mini-Death Star cannon. If only one of these characters could die. People just seem to slip into comas and get placed in a medpod for immediate healing.
Rey, like Rose, needs no training or anything of the sort. This meme continues in The Last Jedi. She can duel with Luke, Kylo or anyone else with ease. Rey can pilot the Millennium Falcon or its cannons with skill. Rey's just awesome because she exists. Anything these women do just naturally comes to them as if they were born to these warrior ways because girl power. Galactic participation trophies are everywhere.
When the movie would stumble into an interesting area, it would ruin it with the choice it made. Rey's parents are just nobody drunks who sold her off for booze money. Kylo tells her this and she rejects his offer to join her in ruling the galaxy as a power couple after Snoke (we still know nothing about this guy) is cut in half. Look, had Rey accepted since Kylo is crushing on her hard and is set to usurp a nice slice of power, that would've been bold and interesting. Women in real life tend to like status, wealth and security. Kylo offered all that and more. It wouldn't have saved the movie, but it would've been something. But no, that's a trad gender role thing that today's Hollywood hates.
The First Order itself is almost cool and worthy of respect, but it is sabotaged by Johnson + Co.'s nonstop comedy of errors leading one to think how these guys manage to stay alive in space, let alone conquer anyone. It's like Spaceballs levels of incompetence.
Yoda, in a significant cameo, burns down Jedi scriptures, after Luke Skywalker changes his mind about doing it himself. Yes, the Yoda who’s all about Jedi history and legacy laughs as he summons a monster lightning bolt to torch it all. Yoda's been reading too much Marxist literature. Guess he's a big Day Zero guy now. Tear down the statues, right?
Yoda then says Rey has everything we need inside of her. Books shmooks. Rey and the Jedi or whatever there is going forward don't need no training or books. Luke doesn't help here when he casually tosses the lightsaber Rey delivers to him over his shoulder like its trash. Perhaps even Luke knows this film was a farce.
We're treated to Laura Dern's turn as purple-haired Vice Admiral Holdo whose only skill seems to be crapping on men and suicide by light speed battering ram (cool VFX on that scene, tho). To make matters worse, much of the plot hinges on the slowest chase scene in the galaxy between the remaining RESISTANCE ship and General Hux's fleet. I found it hard to believe the First Order couldn't conjure up some other way to end them. It's logically impaired and laughable.
Vegans are not left behind in this social justice grab bag extravaganza. Chewie can't even eat dinner in peace without pouty, sad-looking alien penguins on Luke Skywalker's hermit island laying on some heavy guilt trip about it. Chewie chucks his perfectly roasted penguin and presumably goes hungry.
Moving on, it's clear that "General" Leia was at death's door because she could barely spit out her lines, with her body thoroughly torched by decades of alcohol, tobacco and drug abuse. She can barely talk, but she did get blasted into outer space, magically revived and piloted herself back into the ship using duh force. Leia sounded like a 167-year-old woman wrapped in a 67-year-old's skin.
The casino planet, full of war profiteers selling arms to the RESISTANCE and the First Order, wasn't even the worst part of the movie, yet it didn't merit the chunk of time it occupied. Could've skipped the whole thing. Yet at least Rian Johnson acknowledges what we all know following decades of war in the Middle East: wars are a machine of the two party elite's making.
Stay far, far away from Star Wars. It's finished. Disney killed anything remotely redeeming about the entire franchise. Thanks to them, it will be hard to watch the originals without thinking of this space muck.